Sasuke Wants To Get Married?
by FanficMonster101
Summary: The unthinkable has happened! No, it's not Choji on a diet. Sasuke actually WANTS to get married? Well, his little Uchiha minions won't breed themselves. So Sasuke goes on a hunt for a perfect wife. Who will he choose? Who will cry? Who cares? Sasuhina!


Mr. Aoki Haruno's eyes narrowed. He studied the expressionless boy in front of him, who was leaning back in his chair, looking quite uninterested. Aoki's eye twitched. "Mr. Uchiha - I am presenting you my **only** child, my **beloved** daughter. As a **wife**." He repeated, leaning forward, hands still laced under his chin.

The Uchiha boy raised an arched eyebrow. "I heard you correctly the first time, Haruno-san."

Silence.

This kind of exchange had been going on for half an hour, with similar results. Aoki Haruno was not a patient man, a trait which had been evidently passed down to his offspring. In fact, Sakura Haruno resembled her father greatly. They both had green eyes, lightly tanned skin, an (extremely) large forehead, and a temper. Ah, I've forgotten something, hm? Answering your question, he _did_ have pink hair. Bright, in-your-face, gaudy, pink hair. In fact, when Sasuke had first seen him, he had almost burst out in explosive laughter. But, ofcourse, that is not something an Uchiha would do.

Aoki ground his teeth. "So what do you have to _say_ about it?" He asked, trying to remain calm. Sasuke Uchiha simply shrugged. "It is a fair offer."

More silence.

Aoki shut his eyes and clenched his teeth, trying not to strangle the last remaining Uchiha. "And...what...is your answer?" He spat, eyes still closed. When he opened them again, Sasuke was staring at him with those Uchiha eyes, _amused_. "If you wish to kill me, by all means, have a go," he asked emotionlessly, though his eyes were smirking. _Go on, come at me. Do you wish to die?_ he seemed to ask.

Furious, Mr. Haruno dropped his facade and slammed his fist down on the table. "For the love of Kami, you bastard! _Are you going to answer me or not?_"

...more silence.

Aoki was close to smashing his fist into the Uchiha's flawless nose until Sasuke sighed and looked out the window. He spoke then. "Sakura is a fine ninja. She has excellent chakra control, and a good head on her shoulders. She is a skilled medic ninja, and is learned in taijutsu and ninjutsu. She is in good physical health. She is very protective, and quick to defend and guard. She is kind, caring, and attractive."

Aoki blinked, surprised to hear the Uchiha praise his daughter so. "So then...you'll marry her?" He asked, almost hopeful.

Sasuke's eyes shifted back to the man with ridiculous bubblegum hair. He sighed again. "There's one problem with Sakura."

Suspicious, Aoki leaned back in his chair, eyeing the Uchiha. "And what would that be?" he asked cautiously.

Sasuke chuckled then.

Aoki flinched, not used to hearing any kind of sound come from the Uchiha except for 'tch', 'hn', 'che', and...not much else.

Sasuke spoke calmly. "I don't actually _like_ Sakura." His trademark smirk appeared on his face as he continued. "Actually, if Sakura were not interested in me, perhaps I would consider her. But, unfortunately, she is, and her little..._infatuation_...makes her quite undesirable."

Aoki Haruno sat in dumbstruck silence as Sasuke went on. "When I am around Sakura, she is a **terrible** ninja, too focused on impressing me to do any good to the mission. Her chakra control is useless if she doesn't actually **use** it, and the usual calm and sensibility she possesses most of the time completely disappears. She has no interest in healing anyone but myself when I am with her, and while trying to impress me, she only performs taijutsu and ninjutsu that may look complex and intricate, but are not much help. However excellent her health may be, her obsession with me transforms her into a simpering, giggling idiot. When with me, she is more harm than help to those around her, especially trying to 'protect' me from the likes of Naruto. She pushes away any other people when I am near. And, Haruno-san, she is certainly pretty. But, I'm afraid," he paused, his gaze drifting to Aoki's tresses, "her hair absolutely sickens me."

Aoki sat there, jaw almost dropped to the floor. He couldn't speak. He was in too much shock.

After a few minutes, Sasuke stood, stretching. "Thank you for your hospitality, but I have business to attend to." With that, he strode out of the room.

Akiha Haruno jumped back as the door she had previously been pressing her ear against opened suddenly. Out stepped the handsome Uchiha boy, whom her daughter loved to gush about, and hoped to marry. The Uchiha turned his head, noticing her, and looked her up and down, causing Akiha to blush. His deep black eyes finally settled on her mousy brown hair. "Pity," he commented. Then he passed her and continued out the door. Akiha blinked, incredibly confused.

**Me: claps hands over mouth, tries not to laugh**

**Sasu: That was a complete waste of my time.**

**Saku: Why did you say those things, Sasuke? You love me, I know you do! W-Why, Sasuke?**

**Sasu: I fucking felt like it. turns to Monster-chan All that chapter was about was me going on a rant about things everyone knew already.**

**Me: brandishes stick of doom Insult my writing, will you? TAKE THIS! *throws stick***

**Sasu: Well, f***. runs away**

**Saku: bursts into tears**

**Me: Oh, Sakura. I don't hate you. I hate Sasusaku. shrugs matter-of-factly Nothing personal.**

**Saku: cries harder**

**Gaara: Blood?**

**Me: ...I suppose you can have Lee's.**

**Lee: looks up Squirrel?**


End file.
